Reader

TRYPHENAWho ever heard of a fellow who takes out a girl, pays her five drachmas, and then turns his back on her in bed, weeping and groaning? I don’t think you enjoyed the wine, or really wanted to dine alone with me. You were crying all through dinner; I noticed it. And now you keep on whimpering like a baby. Why, Charmides? Don’t keep it from me, so that I can have this further pleasure Spoken in irony. out of the sleepless night I’ve spent with you. CHARMIDESI’m dying of love, Tryphena. It’s too terrible for me to bear any longer. TRYPHENAObviously I’m not the one you love, or you wouldn’t show such little interest in me, and keep pushing me away when I tried to hug you, or have ended by placing your cloak as a barrier between us, for fear of my touching you. But for all that tell me who she is. Perhaps I can help you in your love, for I know how to be of service in such matters. CHARMIDESYou are very well acquainted with each other; she’s a well-known member of your profession.

TRYPHENATell me her name, Charmides. CHARMIDESPhilematium, Tryphena. TRYPHENAWhich one? There are two. Do you mean the one from the Piraeus, who lost her virginity only the other day, and is loved by Damylus, the son of one of this year’s Generals, or the other one, the one they call the “Trap”? CHARMIDESThat’s the one. I’m a poor victim that’s fallen right into her trap. TRYPHENAThen you were crying for her? CHARMIDESIndeed I was. TRYPHENAHave you loved for long, or was your initiation recent? CHARMIDESFar from recent; it’s almost seven whole months since the Dionysia, and the time when I first saw her. TRYPHENADid you have a good look at her all over? Or did you only see her face, and the parts of her body immediately visible, and just as much as you should of a woman who’s forty-five if she’s a day? CHARMIDESBut she swears she’ll be twenty-two next March.

TRYPHENABut which will you believe—her solemn oaths or your own eyes? Take a close and careful look at her temples, the only place where her hair is her own. The rest of it is a thick wig. But along her temples the grey hairs show pretty well all over, whenever the dye she uses loses its effect. But why do that? Insist on seeing her unclothed. CHARMIDESHer favours to me have never extended so far. TRYPHENAThat’s only to be expected. She knew you’d be revolted by her white spots, A skin disease. and she’s mottled like a leopard all the way from her neck down to her knees. Were you crying at being refused by a woman like that? Perhaps too she was cruel and proud to you? CHARMIDESYes, Tryphena, even though I always give her so much; and now that I’ve found it difficult to give her the thousand drachmas that she’s asking because I’m dependent on a stingy father, she’s let Moschion in, and locked me out. I wanted to get even for that by annoying her, and so I asked you to accompany me. TRYPHENABy our Lady Aphrodite, I wouldn’t have come if I’d been warned that that was why my company was wanted—to annoy another woman, and Philematium, the Coffin, at that! No, I’ll be off, for this is already the third time that the cock’s crowed.

CHARMIDESDon’t you be in such a hurry, Tryphena. If it’s true what you tell me about her wig, her dyed hair, and the white spots besides, I won’t be able to look at Philematium again. TRYPHENAAsk your mother, if they’ve ever been at the baths together. Her age you can find out from your grandfather, if he’s still living. CHARMIDESWell, since she’s like that, let’s remove the barrier this instant, snuggle up closer, kiss, and really enjoy each other’s company. To the devil with Philematium!