Reader

MOTHERIf we find another lover like Chaereas, Musarium, we’ll have to sacrifice a white goat to earthly Aphrodite, and a heifer to the statue of heavenly Aphrodite in the Gardens, A statue by Alcamenes. Cf. Essays in Portraiture 4, Pausanias 1.19.2, and Pliny, N.H. XXXVI, 16. and offer a wreath to Demeter, Giver of Wealth! We shall be prosperous and more than doubly blessed! You can see how much we’re getting from the young fellow at present! He has never given you so much as a penny, or a dress, or a pair of shoes, or a bottle of scent. Always there are excuses and promises and hopes for the distant future, and he keeps saying, “If only my father—” Sc. “dies”, which is omitted out of delicacy and piety. or “If I get my inheritance,” or “It will all be yours.” And you say he’s promised on oath to make you his lawful wedded wife. MUSARIUMYes, mother, he swore by the two goddesses Demeter and Persephone. and by the Protectress of Athens. MOTHERAnd you believe him, of course. That’s why, the other day when he couldn’t pay his share of the party, you gave him your ring without telling me, and he sold it and spent the money on drink—yes, and the two Ionian necklaces, weighing two Darics apiece, which Praxias, the Chian shipowner had made in Ephesus and brought for you? Chaereas needed to pay his contribution for a dinner with his fellows. Need I mention your gowns and fine linen? He has indeed been a godsend and blessing to us!

MUSARIUMBut he’s handsome and smooth-chinned, says he loves me, and cries; he’s the son of Dinomache and Laches, the Areopagite, and says he’ll marry me, and we’ve great hopes of him, if only the old man will fall asleep. MOTHERWell, Musarium, if we want a pair of shoes, and the cobbler asks for two drachmas, we’ll say to him, “We have no money, but let us give you a few of our hopes.” We’ll say the same to the barleymerchant, and, if we’re asked for the rent, we’ll say, “Wait until Laches of Colyttus dies; I’ll pay you after the wedding.” Aren’t you ashamed that you’re the only courtesan without an earring, a necklace, or a lace wrap?

MUSARIUMWhat of it, mother? Are they happier than I am or prettier? MOTHERNo, but they’re more sensible, and know their job; they don’t trust idle words, or young men with promises on the tips of their tongues. But you are constant and affectionate, and won’t have anyone near you but Chaereas. Yes, the other day when the Acharnian farmer came with two minas, though he had smooth cheeks too, and money from the wine his father had sent him to sell, you turned up your nose at him, and slept with your Adonis, Chaereas. MUSARIUMWhat of it? Was I to leave Chaereas and take that clodhopper smelling of goats? To use the common expression, I find Chaereas smooth, and the Acharnian a rough pig. A passage which has baffled commentators. Perhaps χοιρίσκος is a term of obscene abuse, contrasted with λεῖός. Rothstein would delete Χαιρέας and translate “I find acceptable to me even an Acharnian pig”, assuming that courtesans had a common saying to the effect that any man is acceptable, providing that he brings money. MOTHERVery well, the other’s a rustic and smells nasty. But what about Antipho, the son of MeneCrates, who promised one mina? You wouldn’t have him either. Wasn’t he handsome and polished and just as young as Chaereas?

MUSARIUMBut Chaereas threatened to slit the throats of both of us, if he ever caught me with him. MOTHERBut ever so many others make that threat. Will you, then, remain without lovers because of that, and live a chaste life, as though you were not a courtesan but a priestess of Demeter, Giver of Laws? Well, I won’t say any more. It’s the Harvest Home to-day; what has he given you for the feast? MUSARIUMHe has nothing to give, mummy dear. MOTHERIs he the only one who hasn’t found a way of tricking his father, or sent a slave to hoodwink him, or begged from his mother, and threatened to sail off to the wars, if he’s not given anything? No, there he sits, bringing us to ruin, giving nothing himself, and forbidding you to take from those who will give. Do you think you’ll be eighteen for ever, Musarium, or that Chaereas will feel the same when he’s a rich man himself, and his mother finds him a rich match? Do you think he’ll still remember his tears and his kisses and his oaths, when he sees a dowry of five talents or so? MUSARIUMHe will remember. I can prove it. He’s still unmarried, and has refused to take a wife despite all the bullying and browbeating he’s had to face. MOTHERI only hope he won’t play you false. I’ll remind you of my words, Musarium, when that day comes.