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Original / primary: Perseus Eng2
328
Stand still, that I may now at once get down for the hill, although you are but a bad one.
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ARGYRIPPUS
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Well now—since you’ve both made fun of me just as you liked, are you going to give the money?
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712b
LIBANUS
712b
Why, yes, if, indeed, you erect to me a statue and an altar, and then sacrifice an ox to me here as though to a God; for I am the Divinity Salvation to you.
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LEONIDA
330
Nay, but, master, do you betake yourself away from him, and do you come to me.
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And, what he has demanded for himself, will you erect a statue for me, and offer prayers to me?
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ARGYRIPPUS
332
But what Divinity am I to call you?
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716b
LEONIDA
716b
Fortune, and that the Propitious oneAnd that the Propitious one: Fortuna Cbsequens or Propitious Fortune, had a Temple at Rome..
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ARGYRIPPUS
333
You are better than he then.
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717b
LIBANUS
717b
Why, is there ever anything better for a man than Salvation?
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ARGYRIPPUS
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Though I praise Fortune, still, not to speak in dispraise of the Divinity Salvation—
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PHILENIUM
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By the powers, but they are good, both of them.
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719b
ARGYRIPPUS
719b
I shall know it, when they have conferred anything that’s good.
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LEONIDA
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Wish for that which you desire to befall you.
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720b
ARGYRIPPUS
720b
What if I do wish it?
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720c
LEONIDA
720c
It shall come to pass.
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ARGYRIPPUS
337
I wish for her to be devoted to me alone this whole year round.
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721b
LEONIDA
721b
You have obtained it.
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ARGYRIPPUS
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Do you really say so?
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722b
LEONIDA
722b
I do say so for certain.
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LIBANUS
722c
Come to me, in my turn, and make trial: wish ardently for that which you especially desire to happen to you; it shall be done.
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ARGYRIPPUS
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What other thing could I ardently wish for rather than that of which I am in want?
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Oblige me with twenty silver minae to give to her mother.
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LIBANUS
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They shall be given: take care and be of good courage, your wishes shall be fulfilled.
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ARGYRIPPUS
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Just as they are wont, Salvation and Fortune are deceiving mortals.
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LEONIDA
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I this day have been the head in finding this money for you.
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LIBANUS
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I have been the foot.
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729b
ARGYRIPPUS
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Why, neither head nor foot of your talking is visible;
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I can understand neither what you mean, nor why you are trifling with me.
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LIBANUS
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I think that now you’ve been teased enough; now let’s disclose the matter as it really stands. Give your attention, Argyrippus, if you please. Your father has ordered us to bring this money to you.
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733b
ARGYRIPPUS
733b
How very à propos and opportunely you have brought it.
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LIBANUS
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Here, in this, there will be twenty good minae, obtained by bad means:
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these, on certain conditions, he bade us give you.
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735b
ARGYRIPPUS
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Prithee, what are they?
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LIBANUS
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That you would grant him her favours and an entertainment.
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736b
ARGYRIPPUS
736b
Bid him come, I beg. For him who deserves it right well, we’ll do what he wishes, him who has brought these scattered loves of ours to a happy result.
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738b
LEONIDA
738b
You’ll permit your father then, Argyrippus, to caress her?
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739b
ARGYRIPPUS
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She, by being restored to me, will easily cause me to permit it.
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Prithee, Leonida, run, and beg my father to come here.
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LIBANUS
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He has been in the house some time.
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741b
ARGYRIPPUS
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He hasn’t come this way, at all events.
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LIBANUS
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He came round that wayCame round that way: Well he might! by the lane, through the garden, lest any one of his friends should see him coming here; he’s afraid that his wife may come to know of it. If your mother knew about the money, how it was obtained—
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ARGYRIPPUS
744b
Well, well—
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do use words of good omensUse words of good omen: Benedicite. This was a form made use of for the purpose of averting bad omens.;
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go in-doors quickly,
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farewell.
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LEONIDA
745d
And you two, love on.
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DIABOLUS
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Come now, show me this agreement that you’ve written out between myself and the procuress. Read over the conditions; for you are a quite unique composerA quite unique composer: Poeta is here used in the primary sense of the word, from the Greek ποιητὴς, a maker, artist, or contriver. in such matters.
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A PARASITE
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I’ll make the procuress be terrified when she hears the conditions.
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DIABOLUS
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Troth now, prithee, proceed and read them over to me.
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750b
A PARASITE
750b
Are you attending?
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DIABOLUS
750c
I’m all attention.
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A PARASITE
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Diabolus, the son of Glaucus, has made a present to Cleaereta, the procuress, of twenty silver minae, that Philenium may be with him night and day for this whole year.
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DIABOLUS
754b
Yes, and not with any other person.
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A PARASITE
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Am I to add that?
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DIABOLUS
755b
Add it, and take care and write it plainly and distinctly.
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A PARASITE
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And not admit any other man whatever, because either her friend or her patron, she may choose to call him—
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DIABOLUS
757a
Not any one!
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A PARASITE
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Or because she may say that he is the lover of a female friend of hers. The door must be closed to all men except to yourself.
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On the door she must write that she is engaged. Or, because she may affirm that the letter has been brought from abroad, there is not to be even any letter in the house, nor so much as a waxed tablet; and if there is any useless pictureAny useless picture: Some of the Commentators have supposed that indecent or immodest pictures are here meant. Such is not the fact. Portraits were taken among the Romans in profile, in wax, which was laid on a plane surface; and probably other pictures were similarly constructed. In his jealousy, Diabolus will not allow Philenium to keep any useless or valueless picture, for fear lest she may melt it, to use the wax for tablets, as a medium of correspondence with a paramour. To a portrait of this kind, Laodamia probably refers in her Epistle to Protesilaüs, in the Heroides of Ovid, l. 133: But while as a warrior thou shalt be wielding arms in a distant region, I have a waxen figure which represents thy features., let her sell it; if she does not part with it, within four days
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from the time when she has received the money of you, let it be considered as your own; you to burn it if you like; so that she may have no wax, with which she may be able to make a letter. She is to invite no guest; you are to invite them. On no one of them is she to cast her eyes:
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if she looks upon any other person, she must be blind forthwithMust be blind forthwith: This is probably a polite way of saying, Let her leave the room forthwith.. Then she is to drink cup by cup equally with yourself. She is to receive it from you; she is to hand it to you for you to drink. She is not to have a relish for less or for more than yourself.
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DIABOLUS
773b
That’s quite to my taste.
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A PARASITE
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She is to remove all causes of suspicion from her,
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nor is she to tread on any man’s footTread on any man’s foot: From passages in Ovid’s Amours and Art of Love, we learn that this was a favourite method of communication by intriguing parties. with her foot; when she rises she is neither to step upon the next couch, nor when she gets down from the couch is she thence to extend her hand to any one; she is not to give to nor ask of any one a ring for her to look at; she is not to present dice to any man whatever except to yourself;
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when she throwsWhen she throws: When throwing the dice, it was the custom to invoke some favourite object, which was thought to bring good luck to the thrower. See the Notes to the Captivi, Act I., Sc. 1. She is not to say, You I invoke, lest, by the ambiguity, it should be intended to apply to another man and not to her protector them, she is not to say, ’You I call upon,’ she is to mention your name. She may call on any Goddess that she pleases as propitious to her, but on no God: if she should chance to be very full of devotion, she is to tell you, and you are to pray to him that he may be propitious. She is neither to nod at any man, wink, or make a sign.
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In fine, if the lamp goes out, she is not to move a single joint of herself in the dark.
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DIABOLUS
786b
That’s very good; so, in fact, she must do: but expunge that about the chamber; for my part, I prefer that she should move. I don’t wish her to have an excuse, and to say that it is forbidden her by her vow.
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A PARASITE
367
I understand, you fear some quibble.
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DIABOLUS
790b
Just so.
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A PARASITE
790c
Then as you bid me, I’ll strike it out.
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DIABOLUS
791b
And why not?
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A PARASITE
791c
Hear the rest.
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DIABOLUS
791d
Say on, I’m listening.
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A PARASITE
368
And she is not to use any shuffling words, nor is she to know how to speak in any tongue but the Attic. If perchance she should begin to cough,
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she is not to cough so as to expose her tongue to any one in coughing. But if she should pretend as though she had a running at the noseA running at the nose: The meaning seems to be, that if her nose runs by reason of a catarrh, she is not to open her mouth to put her tongue out, but that Diabolus is, in common parlance, to wipe her nose for her., even then she is not to do so; you yourself must wipe her lips rather than that she should open her mouth before another person. And her mother, the procuress, is not to come in in the middle of the wine,
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nor is she to utter a word of abuse to any one; if she does so speak, let this be her fine, to go for twenty days without wine.
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DIABOLUS
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You have written it nicely; a clever agreement.
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A PARASITE
371
Then, if she bids her maid-servant carry chaplets, garlands, or unguents, to Venus or to Cupid,
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your servant is to watch whether she gives them to Venus or to a man. If perchance she should say she wishes to keep herself in purityKeep herself in purity: He probably alludes to the festival of Isis or Ceres, on which occasion it was usual for the female votaries rigidly to separate themselves from the society of men. The translation of the next line is somewhat modified., let her account for as many nights as she has kept herself in purity. These are no trifles; for they are no funeral dirgeNo funeral dirge: Mortualia were the songs which hired female mourners sang at funerals; and which, as being especially worthless, were pre-eminently called nugae, or trifles..
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DIABOLUS
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The conditions please me entirely; follow me indoors.
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A PARASITE
809b
I follow.
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DIABOLUS
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Follow this way. Am I to put up with this, or shall I hold my tongue? I would rather die than not discover this to his wife. And say you so, old man? With a mistress would you be acting the part of a youngster? Would you be excusing yourself to your wife, and calling yourself an aged man? Would you be taking the mistress from her lover? And would you be presenting the money
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to the procuress, and be secretly pilfering it from your wife at home? You should hang me, rather than you should carry off these matters undiscovered. On my honor, I’ll really go this instant hence to her whom I’m sure that you’ll very soon be destroying, in order that you may be able to supply your extravagance, unless, indeed, she shall first prevent you.
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A PARASITE
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I’m of opinion that thus you must act. ’Tis more becoming that I should disclose this matter, rather than yourself, lest she may think that you, excited by reason of love, rather than for her own sake, have acted thus.
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823b
DIABOLUS
823b
Why, faith, you say what’s right. Do you then contrive to raise a storm and strife against him,
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that he, together with his own son, is carousing with one mistress the livelong day, and that he’s secretly pilfering from her.
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826b
A PARASITE
826b
Don’t suggest to me. I’ll take care of that.
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827b
DIABOLUS
827b
But I’ll wait for you at home.
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ARGYRIPPUS
378
Come then, father, let’s take our places, please.
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828c
DEMAENETUS
828c
As you bid me, my son, so it shall be.
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829b
ARGYRIPPUS
829b
Lads, spread the table.
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DEMAENETUS
379
Is it at all displeasing to you, son, if she takes her place by me?
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ARGYRIPPUS
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Duty, father, keeps sorrow from my eyes; although I love her, still I can control my feelings, not to take it to heart because she takes her place by you.
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DEMAENETUS
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It becomes a young man to be respectful, Argyrippus.
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ARGYRIPPUS
833b
Troth, father, through proper regard for you, I can be so.
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834b
DEMAENETUS
834b
Come, then, let’s enjoy this banquet
382
with wine and pleasant discourse. I don’t wish to be feared, I prefer myself to be loved by you, my son.
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836b
ARGYRIPPUS
836b
In truth, I do them both, as is proper for a son.
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DEMAENETUS
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I’d believe it, if I saw you were cheerful.
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837b
ARGYRIPPUS
837b
Why, do you think that I’m sorrowful?