Aulularia
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Original / primary: Perseus Eng2
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MEGADORUS
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Hold your peace; be of good courage, Euclio: she shall be given in marriaye; you shall be assisted by myself. Say, if you have need of aught; command me.
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EUCLIO
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Now is he aiming at my property, while he’s making promises; he’s gaping for my gold, that he may devour it;
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in the one hand he is carrying a stoneCarrying a stone: To ask for bread, and to receive a stone, was a proverbial expression with the ancients. Erasmus says that it was applied to those who pretended to be friendly to a person, and at the same time were doing him mischief; and that it was borrowed from persons enticing a dog with a piece of bread, and, when it had come sufficiently near, pelting it with a stone. The expression is used in the New Testament. If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? St. Luke, c. xi., v. 11. The bread, as we learn from specimens found at Pompeii, was often made into cakes, which somewhat resembled large stones.. while he shows the bread in the other. I trust no person, who, rich himself, is exceedingly courteous to a poor man; when he extends his hand with a kind air, then is he loading you with some damage. I know these polypiThese polypi: Ovid says in his Halieuticon, or Treatise on Fishes: But, on the other hand, the sluggish polypus sticks to the rocks with its body provided with feelers, and by this stratagem it escapes the nets; and, according to the nature of the spot, it assumes and changes its colour, always resembling that place which it has lighted upon; and when it has greedily seized the prey hanging. from the fishing-line, it likewise deceives the angler on his raising the rod, when, on emerging into the air, it loosens its feelers, and spits forth the hook that it has despoiled of the bait., who, when they’ve touched a thing, hold it fast.
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MEGADORUS
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Give me your attention, Euclio, for a little time: I wish to address you in a few words,
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about a common concern of yours and mine.
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EUCLIO
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Alas! woe is me! my gold has been grabbed from in-doors: now he’s wishing for this thing, I’m sure, to come to a compromise with me; but I’ll go look in my house.
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MEGADORUS
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Where are you going?
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EUCLIO
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I’ll return to you directly, for there’s something I must go and see to at home.
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MEGADORUS
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By my troth, I do believe that when I make mention of his daughter,
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for him to promise her to me, he’ll suppose that he’s being laughed at by me; nor is there out of the whole class of paupers one more beggarly than he.
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EUCLIO
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The Gods do favour me; my property’s all safe. If nothing’s lost, it’s safe. I was very dreadfully afraid, before I went in-doors! I was almost dead! (Aloud.) I’m come back to you, Megadorus, if you wish to say anything tome.
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MEGADORUS
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I return you thanks; I beg that as to what I shall enquire of you, you’ll not hesitate to speak out boldly.
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EUCLIO
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So long, indeed, as you enquire nothing that I mayn’t choose to speak out upon.
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MEGADORUS
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Tell me, of what sort of family do you consider me to be sprung?
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EUCLIO
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Of a good one.
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MEGADORUS
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What think you as to my character?
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EUCLIO
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’Tis a good one.
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MEGADORUS
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What of my conduct?
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EUCLIO
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Neither bad nor dishonest.
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MEGADORUS
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Do you know my years?
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EUCLIO
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I know that they are plentiful, just like your money.
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MEGADORUS
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I’ faith, for sure I really did always take you to be a citizen without any evil guile, and now I think you so.
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EUCLIO
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He smells the gold. (Aloud.) What do you want with me now?
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MEGADORUS
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Since you know me, and I know you, what sort of person you are—a thing, that may it bring a blessing on myself, and you and your daughter, I ask your daughter as my wife. Promise me that it shall be so.
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EUCLIO
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Heyday! Megadorus, you are doing a deed that’s not becoming to your usual actions, in laughing at me, a poor man, and guiltless towards yourself and towards your family. For neither in act, nor in words, have I ever deserved it of you, that you should do what you are now doing.
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MEGADORUS
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By my troth, I neither am come to laugh at you, nor am I laughing at you, nor do I think you deserving of it.
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EUCLIO
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Why then do you ask for my daughter for your self?
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MEGADORUS
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That through me it may be better for you, and through you and yours for me.
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EUCLIO
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This suggests itself to my mind, Megadorus, that you are a wealthy man, a man of rank; that I likewise am a person, the poorest of the poor; now, if I should give my daughter in marriage to you, it suggests itself to my mind that you are the ox, and that I am the ass; when I’m yoked to you,
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and when I’m not able to bear the burden equally with yourself, I, the ass, must lie down in the mire; you, the ox, would regard me no more than if I had never been born; and I should both find you unjust, and my own class would laugh at me; in neither direction should I have a fixed stall, if there should be any separationBe any separation: Si quid divortii fuat. By the use of the word divortium, he means either an estrangement of himself from Megadorus, or a separation or divorce of the latter from his intended wife, which of course would lead to the same consequences. The facilities for divorce among the Romans have been remarked upon in a previous Note.; the asses would tear me with their teeth, the oxen would butt at me with their horns.
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This is the great hazard, in my passing over from the asses to the oxen.
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MEGADORUS
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The nearer you can unite yourself in alliance with the virtuous, so much the better. Do you receive this proposal, listen to me, and promise her to me.
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EUCLIO
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But indeed there is no marriage-portion.
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MEGADORUS
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You are to give none; so long as she comes with good principles, she is sufficiently portioned.
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EUCLIO
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I say so for this reason, that you mayn’t be supposing that I have found any treasures.
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MEGADORUS
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I know that; don’t enlarge upon it. Promise her to me.
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EUCLIO
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So be it. (Starts and looks about.) But, O Jupiter, am I not utterly undone?
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MEGADORUS
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What’s the matter with you?
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EUCLIO
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What was it sounded just now as though it were iron?
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MEGADORUS
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Here at my place, I ordered them to dig up the garden. (EUCLIO runs off into his house.) But where is this man? He’s off, and he hasn’t fully answered me; he treats me with contempt.
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Because he sees that I wish for his friendship, he acts after the manner of mankind. For if a wealthy person goes to ask a favour of a poorer one, the poor man is afraid to treat with him; through his apprehension he hurts his own interest. The same person, when this opportunity is lost, too late, then wishes for it.
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EUCLIO
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By the powers, if I don’t give you up to have your tongue cut out by the roots, I order and I authorize you to hand me over to any one you please to be incapacitated.
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MEGADORUS
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By my troth, Euclio, I perceive that you consider me a fit man for you to make sport of in my old age, for no deserts of my own.
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EUCLIO
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I’ faith, Megadorus, I am not doing so, nor, should I desire it, had I the meansHad I the means: Neque, si cupiam, copia est. In saying this, Euclio intends to play upon the words of Megadorus, ludos facias, which may either signify you make sport of me, or you give a public show or spectacle, which the wealthy Patricians of Rome were in the habit of doing. Euclio pretends to take his words in the latter sense, and replies, I couldn’t even if I would, by reason of his poverty, as he pretends. It was usual for the Aediles to provide the spectacles from their private resources, from which circumstance one who lived a life of extravagance was said Aedilitatem petere, to be aspiring to the Aedileship..
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MEGADORUS
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How now? Do you then betroth your daughter to me?
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EUCLIO
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On those terms, and with that portion which I mentioned to you.
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MEGADORUS
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Do you promise her then?
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EUCLIO
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I do promise her.
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MEGADORUS
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May the Gods bestow their blessings on it.
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EUCLIO
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May the Gods so do. Take you care of this, and remember that we’ve agreed, that my daughter is not to bring you any portion.
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MEGADORUS
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I remember it.
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EUCLIO
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But I understand in what fashion you, of your class, are wont to equivocate;
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an agreement is no agreement, no agreement is an agreement, just as it pleases you.
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MEGADORUS
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I’ll have no misunderstanding with you. But what reason is there why we shouldn’t have the nuptials this day?
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EUCLIO
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Why, by my troth, there is very good reason for them.
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MEGADORUS
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I’ll go, then, and prepare matters. Do you want me in any way?
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EUCLIO
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That shall be done. Fare you well.
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MEGADORUS
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Hallo! Strobilus, follow me quickly, in all haste, to the fleshmarket.
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EUCLIO
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He has gone hence. Immortal Gods, I do beseech you! How powerful is gold! I do believe, now, that he has had some intimation that I’ve got a treasure at home; he’s gaping for that; for the sake of that has he persisted in this alliance.
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EUCLIO
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Where are you who have now been blabbing to all my neighbours that I’m going to give a portion to my daughter? Hallo! Staphyla, I’m calling you!
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Don’t you hear? Make haste in-doors there, and wash the vessels clean. I’ve promised my daughter in marriage; to-day I shall give her to be married to Megadorus here.
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STAPHYLA
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May the Gods bestow their blessings on it! But, i’ faith, it cannot be; ’tis too sudden.
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EUCLIO
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Hold your tongue, and be off. Take care that things are ready when I return home from the Forum, and shut the house up. I shall be here directly.
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STAPHYLA
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What now am I to do?
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Now is ruin near at hand for us, both for myself and my master’s daughter; for her disgrace and her delivery are upon the very point of becoming known; that which even until now has been concealed and kept secret, cannot be so now. I’ll go in-doors, that what my master ordered may be done when he comes. But, by my faith, I do fear that I shall have to drink of a mixture of bitterness A mixture of bitterness: Hildyard suggests that Staphyla is fond of a drop, and likes her liquors neat (merum), wherefore it is a double misfortune to her, not only to endure misfortunes, but those of a mixed nature. Mixtum was the term applied to the wine, when mixed with its due proportion of water for drinking.!
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STROBILUS
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After my master had bought the provisions, and hired the cooks Hired the cooks: Allusion has been made, in the Notes to the Pseudolus, to the custom of hiring cooks in the markets on any special occasion. These were frequently slaves; and in such case, the greater portion of their earnings would go into the pockets of their masters. From the remark made in l. 265, we find that Congrio and Anthrax are slaves. and these music- girls in the market-place, he ordered me to divide these provisions into two parts.
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LYCONIDES
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By my troth, but you really shan’t be dividing me You really shan’t be dividing me: He alludes to his own name, Congrio, a conger eel, which was cut up before it was cooked; and he means to say, that spite of his name, he will not stand being divided by Strobilus., I tell you plainly. If you wish me to go anywhere whole, I’ll do my best.
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ANTHRAX
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A very pretty and modest fellow, indeedModest fellow, indeed: Anthrax gives a very indelicate turn to the remark of Congrio; and the liberty has been taken of giving a more harmless form to the gross witticism of Anthrax. It may be here remarked, that he takes his name from the Greek word, signifying a coal, a commodity, of course much in request with cooks.. As if, when you are a conger by name, you wouldn’t like to be cut into pieces.
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LYCONIDES
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But, Anthrax, I said that in another sense, and not in the one which you are pretending.
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STROBILUS
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Now my master’s going to be married to-day.Part of line 288 in the Latin.
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ANTHRAX
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Whose daughter is he to marry?
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STROBILUS
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The daughter of this Euclio, his near neighbour here. For that reason he has ordered half of these provisions here to be presented to him—one cook, and one music-girl likewise.
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ANTHRAX
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That is, you take one half to him, the other half home?
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STROBILUS
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’Tis just as you say.
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ANTHRAX
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How’s that? Couldn’t this old fellow provide from his own resources for the wedding of his daughter.
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STROBILUS
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Pshaw!
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ANTHRAX
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What’s the matter?
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STROBILUS
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What’s the matter, do you ask? A pumice stone isn’t so dry as is this old fellow.
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ANTHRAX
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Do you really say that it is as you affirm?
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STROBILUS
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Do be judge yourself. Why, he’s for ever crying out for aid from Gods and men, that his property has gone, and that he is ruined root and branch,
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if the smoke by chance escapes out of doors through the rafters of his house. Why, when he goes to sleep, he ties a bagHe ties a bag: He probably intends to hint here that Euclio sleeps with his purse (which consisted of a follis, or leathern bag) tied round his throat, but implies that he not only wishes thereby to save his money, but his breath as well, by having the mouth of the bag so near to his own. Although Thornton thinks that the suggestion of Lambinus that follem obstringit means, he ties up the nozzle of the bellows, is forced and far-fetched, it is far from improbable that that is the meaning of the passage. It may possibly mean that he ties the bellows to his throat. beneath his gullet.
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ANTHRAX
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Why so?
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STROBILUS
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That when he sleeps, he may lose no breath.
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ANTHRAX
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And does he stop up the lower part of his windpipePart of his windpipe: An indelicate remark is here made, which has been obviated in the translation. as well,
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lest, perchance, he should lose any breath as he sleeps?
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STROBILUS
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In that ’tis as fair that you should credit me, as it is for me to credit you.
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ANTHRAX
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Why really, I do believe you.
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STROBILUS
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But, further, do you know how it is?
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I’ faith, he grieves to throw away the water when he washes.
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ANTHRAX
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Do you think a great talentA great talent: As the ancients weighed silver on paying a talent, the word talentum denoted both a sum of money and a weight. The great talent here mentioned, was the Attic talent of sixty minae, or six thousand drachmae.
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might be begged of this old fellow for him to give us, through which we might become free?
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STROBILUS
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By my troth, if you were to ask it, he would never let you have the loan of hunger. Why, the other day, the barber had cut his nailsHad cut his nails: From this passage we learn that barbers were in the habit of paring the nails of their customers; in the Epistles of Horace, B. 1, Ep. 7, l. 50, we are informed that idlers pared their nails in the shops to Rome.; he collected all the parings, and carried them off.
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ANTHRAX
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I’ faith, you do describe a miserably stingy wretch.
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LYCONIDES
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But do you think that he does live so very stingily and wretchedly?
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STROBILUS
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A kite, the other day, carried off his morsel of food; the fellow went crying to the PraetorTo the Prœtor: The Praetor was a magistrate at Rome, who administered justice, and ranked next to the Consuls. There were eight Praetors in the time of Cicero. Two of them were employed in adjudicating in causis privatis, disputes concerning private property. One of these was called Praetor urbanus, or the city Praetor, who administered justice when the parties were cives, or possessed the rights of Roman citizenship. The other was called Praetor peregrinus, or the foreigners’ Praetor, who administered justice when both the litigating parties, or only one of them, were peregrini, or foreigners, and had not the right of Roman citizenship. The other six Praetors had jurisdiction in criminal cases, such as murder, adultery, and violence. The Praetors committed the examination of causes to subordinate judges, who were called judices selecti, and they published the sentences of the judges so appointed by them. The Praetors wore the toga praetexta, or magisterial robe, sat on the sella curulis, and were preceded by six lictors. Their duties lasted for a year, after which they went as governors to such provinces as had no army, which were assigned to them by lot. There they administered justice in the same way as they had done as Praetors at Rome, and were called by the name of Propraetores; though, as such governors, they were also sometimes called Praetores. The office of Praetor was first instituted at Rome A.U.C. 388, partly because the Consuls, on account of the many wars in which the Romans were engaged, could no longer administer justice; partly that the Patricians might thereby have a compensation for admitting the Plebeians to a share in the Consulate. At first there was only one Praetor; Sylla made their number six; Julius Caesar eight; and Augustus increased them to sixteen. It will not escape observation, that Plautus, as usual, mentions a Roman officer in a Play, the scene of which is supposed to be Athens.; there, weeping and lamenting, he began to request that he might be allowed to compel the kite to give bail.
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There are innumerable other things that I could mention, if I had the leisure. But which of you two is the sharper? Tell me.
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LYCONIDES
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I—as being much the better one.
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STROBILUS
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A cook I ask for, not a thief Not a thief: Because celer, sharp or nimble, would especially apply to the requisite qualifications for an expert thief..
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LYCONIDES
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As a cook, I mean.
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STROBILUS
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What do you say?