Bacchides
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Original / primary: Perseus Eng2
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PISTOCLERUS
260
This same must me a bad man.
552b
552b
MNESILOCHUS
552b
I judge that so he is.
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PISTOCLERUS
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Troth now, prithee, do tell me who it is.
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MNESILOCHUS
553b
He lives on good terms with yourself. But were he not; so, I would entreat you to do him whatever harm you could do.
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PISTOCLERUS
555b
Only tell me the person, who he is; if I don’t do him an injury, some way or other, do you say that I’m the greatest of cowards.
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MNESILOCHUS
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The person’s a bad one, but he’s your friend, i’ faith.
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557b
PISTOCLERUS
557b
So much the rather, then, tell me who he is. In good sooth, I set no value on the esteem of a worthless person.
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MNESILOCHUS
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I appear, then, not to be able to avoid disclosing to you his name.
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Pistoclerus, you have utterly undone me, your friend.
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PISTOCLERUS
265
How’s that?
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MNESILOCHUS
561b
How’s that? Did I not send you a letter from Ephesus about my mistress, that you should find her out for me?
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562b
PISTOCLERUS
562b
I own you did; and I have discovered her.
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MNESILOCHUS
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How now? Was there not a choice for you of other Courtesans in Athens, for you to form engagements with, instead of with her whom I had recommended to your care?
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Could you yourself begin to love, and to contrive an injury against myself?
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PISTOCLERUS
268
Are you in your senses?
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566b
MNESILOCHUS
566b
I have found out the whole affair from your tutor; don’t deny it. You’ve ruined me.
567b
567b
PISTOCLERUS
567b
What, still upbraiding me without reason with these rebukes of yours?
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MNESILOCHUS
269
Why? You’re in love with Bacchis.
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PISTOCLERUS
568b
But look you, two persons of the name of Bacchis are living here in this house.
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MNESILOCHUS
270
How, two?
569b
569b
PISTOCLERUS
569b
Aye, and the two are sisters.
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569c
MNESILOCHUS
569c
You are now designedly telling idle stories.
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PISTOCLERUS
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In fine, if you persist in thinking there’s but little confidence in me, I’ll take you upon my shoulders, and carry you hence into their house.
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MNESILOCHUS
571b
Well, I’ll go; but stay a moment.
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PISTOCLERUS
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I will not stay, and you shall not be holding me under a false suspicion.
572b
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MNESILOCHUS
572b
I follow you then.
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PARASITE
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Of a debauched and unscrupulous fellow am I the Parasite—a Captain, who has brought his mistress with him from Samos.
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Now he has ordered me to go to her, and make enquiry whether she will pay back the gold, or whether she will depart together with him. You, boy, who have for some time been with her, whichever of these is the house, do you knock. Go to the door forthwith. (The BOY goes to knock.) Are you coming back from there, you hangdogYou hangdog: Dierecte. The meaning of this word has been explained in the Notes to the Trinummus.? How the graceless scoundrel does knock!
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You can gobble up a loaf three feet wide, and yet you don’t know how to knock at a door. (He calls out and knocks violently.) Is there any one in-doors? Hallo! is there any one here? Does any one open this door? Who’s coming out?
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PISTOCLERUS
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What’s the matter? What’s this knocking? Why, what the confounded torment possesses you, to be exerting your strength in this fashion on another person’s door?
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You’ve almost broken the door down. What do you want now?
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PARASITE
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Young gentleman, my respects.
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PISTOCLERUS
587b
And my respects. But whom are you looking for?
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PARASITE
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For Bacchis.
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PISTOCLERUS
588b
But which of them?
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PARASITE
588c
Of that I know nothing, only it’s Bacchis. In a few words, the Captain, Cleomachus,
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has sent me to her, either for her to pay back the tyro hundred golden Philippeans, or to go hence this day, together with him, to ElatiaTo Elatia: Elatia was a city of Phocis, a district in the Northern part of Greece..
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PISTOCLERUS
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She doesn’t go: she says she shan’t go. Begone, and take back this message—she loves another person, and not him. Take yourself off from the house.
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PARASITE
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You’re too hasty.
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PISTOCLERUS
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And would you know now hasty I am?
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By my faith, your phiz isn’t far off from a mishap; so much are these teeth-crackers (looking at his fists) longing in my fists.
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PARASITE
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So far as I understand his words, ’tis a warning to me, lest he should knock my nut-crackers out of my jaws. (To PISTOCLERUS.) At your own peril, I’ll tell him this.
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PISTOCLERUS
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What do you say?
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PARASITE
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I’ll tell him that which you bade me.
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PISTOCLERUS
600c
Who are you? Tell me.
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PARASITE
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I’m the skill of his bodySkin of his body: Integumentum corporis. Literally, the skin, or covering of the body. This was probably a nickname for a body guard, or hanger-on.
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PISTOCLERUS
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He needs must be a scampish fellow, who has got so worthless a skin.
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PARASITE
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He’ll be coming here, swollen up with wrath.
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PISTOCLERUS
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I wish he may burst.
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PARASITE
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Is there anything you want?
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PISTOCLERUS
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Be off; you must do so this instant.
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PARASITE
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Good-bye, teeth-cracker.
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PISTOCLERUS
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And you, skin of his body, good-bye! This matter has come to such a point, that what advice to give my friend about his mistress, I know not; who, in his pet, has given up all the gold to his father, and not a coin is there that may be paid to the Captain.
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But I’ll step aside, for the door makes a noise. O, here’s Mnesilochus coming out, and pensive, too.
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MNESILOCHUS
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Insolent, of a froward, passionate, ungovernable, inconsiderate disposition, without reason and moderation, am I; without fine principles of rectitude and honor, hard of belief, powerless to control my passions,
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born of a temper ill-disposed, unamiable and ungracious is my lifeIs my life: Vivo. Literally I live, I exist.. In fine, I am that which I could wish others to be. There’s not a person more worthless, or more unworthy for the Gods to bless, or for men to love or to associate with.
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’Tis more just that I should have enemies than friends—’tis more reasonable that the bad should give me their assistance than the good.
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There’s not a person more deserving of all the reproaches that are befitting worthless men, than I, who have given up to my father the money that was in my power. Could this be believed by any one whatever? Am I not a madman, who have miserably undone myself and the device of Chrysalus?
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PISTOCLERUS
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He must now be consoled by me; I’ll accost him. (Aloud.) Hallo, Mnesilochus! what’s the matter?
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MNESILOCHUS
626b
I’m ruined.
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PISTOCLERUS
626a
May the Gods grant better things!
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MNESILOCHUS
626ab
I’m ruined.
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PISTOCLERUS
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Won’t you hold your tongue, simpleton?
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MNESILOCHUS
627b
Hold my tongue?
627a
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PISTOCLERUS
627a
You are not now quite right in your senses.
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MNESILOCHUS
627ab
I’m undone. Many sharp and poignant woes are now arising in my breast. Did I not put faith in that accusation? Without any cause was I angry with you.
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PISTOCLERUS
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Come, come, do have a good heart.
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MNESILOCHUS
630b
Whence have it? A dead man is of more value than I am.
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PISTOCLERUS
631b
The Captain’s Parasite came here, just now, to fetch the gold hence. I drove the fellow away from this door and from this fair one, and packed him off through my harsh language.
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MNESILOCHUS
633b
But of what service is that to me? Wretch that I am, what shall I do? I have nothing; and he certainly will carry her off.
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PISTOCLERUS
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By my faith, if I had the means, I’d engage not.
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MNESILOCHUS
635b
I know you’d give it me; I know your ways; and were you not in love, I should now have the very greatest possible confidence in your assistance. At present, you yourself have more than enough of your own business, for me to suppose that you, who are in want yourself; are able to give me any assistance.
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PISTOCLERUS
638a
Do but hold your tongue: some Divinity will favour us.
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MNESILOCHUS.
638ab
Nonsense.
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PISTOCLERUS
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Do stay.
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MNESILOCHUS
639b
What’s the matter?
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PISTOCLERUS
639c
Why, I see Chrysalus here, your main resource.
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CHRYSALUS
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It’s right this man (pointing to himself) should be worth his weightBe worth his weight: Auro expendi. Literally, to be weighed against gold. in gold: it’s fair that a statue of gold should be erected for him. For, this day, two exploits have I achieved; with twofold spoils have I been graced. So cleverly have I gulled my elder master this day, that he has been made a fool of. The crafty old blade, by my crafty tricks, have I compelled and constrained to believe me in everything.
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Then, for the son of the old gentleman, my master here in love, together with whom I drink, with whom I eat and go a-courting, I have procured regal and golden trea sures, that he may take from thence at home, and not go seeking abroad. Those ParmenosThose Parmenos: Syrus and Parmeno were the names of certain crafty intriguing slaves introduced in Comedy. The first occurs as the name of a slave in the Adelphi of Terence; the second in his Eunuchus. and those Syruses,
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please me not, who filch some two or three minae from their masters. There’s nothing more worthless than a servant without skill—worthless, if he has not a breast mightily well-stocked, so that, whenever there is necessity, he may draw his supply from his own breast. No one can be a person well to do
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unless he understands both how to do good and how to do evil. With rogues he must be a rogue; with thieves let him filch whatever he can. It befits him who is truly wise, to be a person that can shift his very skinShift his very skin: Vorsipellis. Literally, a turner of his skin. similar in meaning to our expression, a turncoat..
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Good with the good let him be, bad with the bad: just as things are, so let him ever frame his humour. But I should like to know how much gold my master has taken for himself, and what he has given up to his father.
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If he is a prudent person, he has made a HerculesHas made a Hercules: A tenth part of the spoil taken in warfare was devoted to Hercules; and it was believed to ensure prosperity, if persons devoted a tenth of their possessions to the same Divinity of his parent: he has given him the tenth part, and has kept back nine for himself. But, see! the person whom I was looking for; he meets me most opportunely. (To MNESILOCHUS.) Has any of your money fallen down, my master, that thus, in silence, you are looking down upon the ground?
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Why do I see you two sad and sorrowful?
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I like it not; and ’tis not without some reason. Are you going now to give me any answer?
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MNESILOCHUS
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I’m undone, Chrysalus.
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CHRYSALUS
671b
Perhaps you took too little of the gold.
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MNESILOCHUS
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How, a plague, too little? Why, yes, indeed, a very great deal less than too little.
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CHRYSALUS
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Why the mischief then, simpleton, since by my skill an opportunity was procured for that very purpose, that you might take as much as you pleased,
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did you thus take it up with the tips of two fingersTwo fingers: He says that when he had the opportunity of gathering up the money by handfuls, he contented himself with taking it only with the tips of his fingers, that is, piece by piece; some would take digiti duo primores to mean the two first fingers of the hand. that is, the forefinger and thumb. The meaning, either way, will be just the same.? Or, didn’t you know how rarely an opportunity of that kind presents itself to a person?
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MNESILOCHUS
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You are mistaken.
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CHRYSALUS
677b
Why, surely, ’tis you yourself that were mistaken, when you dip’t your fingers in not deep enough.
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MNESILOCHUS
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I’ faith, you’d upbraid me more than now you do, if you knew the matter better. I’m undone.
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CHRYSALUS
679b
My mind is now foreboding further mischief from those words.
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MNESILOCHUS
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I’m ruined.
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CHRYSALUS
680b
How so?
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MNESILOCHUS
680c
Because I’ve given all up to my father, with every particleWith every particle: Ramentum properly means the filings of scrapings—dust and all. every particle. of it.
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CHRYSALUS
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Given it up?
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MNESILOCHUS
681b
Given it up.
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CHRYSALUS
681c
What, all?