Curculio
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Original / primary: Perseus Eng2
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PALINURUS
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If you do right, Phaedromus, you’ll listen to me, and banish this sorrow from your feelings.
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You are anxious because your Parasite hasn’t returned from Caria. I think he’ll bring the money; but if he doesn’t bring it, by a chain of iron he couldn’t be withheld from betaking himself to eat at his manger At his manger: Praesepem, a manger or stall, in allusion to the sensual propensities of Parasites..
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CAPPADOX
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What person is it that speaks?
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PALINURUS
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Whose voice is it that I hear?
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CAPPADOX
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Isn’t this Palinurus, the servant of Phaedromus?
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PALINURUS
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Who is this fellow with extended paunch, and eyes as green as grass? From his figure I know him; from his complexion I cannot recognize him. O, now I do know him: it’s the Procurer Cappadox. I’ll accost him.
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CAPPADOX
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Save you, Palinurus.
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PALINURUS
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O source of villanies, save you; how are you?
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CAPPADOX
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I’m just alive.
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PALINURUS
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Just as you deserve, I suppose? But what’s the matter with you?
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CAPPADOX
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My spleen is killing me, my reins are in torment, my lungs are being torn asunder, my liver is being tortured, my heart-strings are giving way, all my intestines are in pain.
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PALINURUS
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The liver complaint is afflicting you, then.
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CAPPADOX
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My spleen is expanded.
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PALINURUS
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Take walking exercise Take walking exercise: There is little doubt that he means seriously to tell Cappadox that exercise is the best cure for disease of the spleen. The Procurer, however, thinks that he is laughing at him.; that’s the best thing for the spleen.
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CAPPADOX
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’Tis an easy matter to laugh at the afflicted.
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PALINURUS
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Well, then, do you hold outDo you hold out: This passage has much perplexed Commentators. If a period is placed after tibi, and exputescant is read for exputescunt, much of the difficulty is removed. None of the Commentators seem to have observed that, in all probability, si id feceris, if you do that, refers to the advice previously given as to taking exercise. If so, the meaning is clear. If you don’t take exercise, in a few days your inside will be putrefying. If, however, you do so now, while the humours of the body are not corrupted, your inside will fetch a higher price than your whole carcase put together—alluding to the worthless character of the Procurer. for some days until your intestines become putrid. Now, while the humours are pretty sound, if you do that, you yourself might sell for a worse price than those intestines of yours.
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CAPPADOX
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Prithee, have done with this, and answer me this which I ask; can you possibly form a conjecture on it, if I relate to you what I dreamt last night in my sleep?
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PALINURUS
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Psha, this—(pointing to himself)—this is the sole person that is really skilled in divination; why, the interpreters of dreams ask advice of myself;
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the answer that I have given them, by that opinion they all stand.
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COOK
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Palinurus, why do you delay? Why are not the things served out for me which are needed for the breakfast to be prepared for the Parasite when he comes.
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PALINURUS
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Wait, please, until I interpret his dream. (Pointing to CAPPADOX.)
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COOK
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Why, you your own self, if you’ve had any dream, always apply to me.
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PALINURUS
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I confess it.
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COOK
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Be off, then, and serve out the things.
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PALINURUS
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Come now, do you in the meantime relate your dream to him. I give you a substitute better than I am myself; for what I do know, all of it I know from him.
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CAPPADOX
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Let him give his attention then.
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PALINURUS
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He’ll give it.
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CAPPADOX
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He does what few do, in being attentive to their masters even. (To the COOK.) Do you give me your attention then.
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COOK
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Although I don’t know you, I’ll give it you.
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CAPPADOX
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Last night I seemed in my sleep to behold Aesculapius, seated at a distance far away from me; and it seemed that he didn’t come near me, or set any value upon me.
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COOK
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The other Gods will do the same, you must know; in fact, among themselves they agree with perfect unanimity.
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It isn’t to be wondered at, if it fares no better with you. But it had been better for you to pass the night in Jove’s Temple, who has given you his assistance Given you his assistance: — He may either mean that Jupiter has favoured him when he has been guilty of perjury, or that the Procurer must be greatly indebted to that God for having so often lent him his name on his making solemn adjurations to further his base purposes. in your oaths.
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CAPPADOX
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If, indeed, those should wish to sleep there who have been guilty of perjury, it were not possible for room to be found them in the Capitol In the Capitol: Though the Scene is in the Peloponnesus, Plautus makes mention of the Capitol, a part of Rome. Some others of the Italian towns had their Capitols in later times..
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COOK
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Give your attention to this; ask peace of Aesculapius, lest perchance some great mishap befall you, which has been portended to you in your rest.
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CAPPADOX
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You do well in advising me; I’ll go and pray to him. (Goes into the Temple.)
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COOK
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And ill speed you with it
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PALINURUS
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O immortal Gods, whom do I behold? Who’s that yonder?
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Isn’t that the Parasite, who was sent to Caria? (Goes to the door.) Hallo, come out, Phaedromus, come out, come out, come out this instant, I say.
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PHAEDROMUS
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Why are you making this noise here?
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PALINURUS
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I see your Parasite running; see, there he is (pointing), down at the end of the street The end of the street: This passage, combined with the long soliloquy of the Parasite while still walking along, gives an apt illustration of the great width and depth of the Roman stage.. Let’s listen from here what he’s about.
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PHAEDROMUS
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I think it’s as well.
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CURCULIO
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Known or unknown, make way for me, while here I execute my commission; fly all of you, be off, and get out of the way, lest I should hurt any person in my speed with my head, or elbow, or breast, or with my knee. So suddenly now am I charged with a business of quickness and despatch. And be there no person ever so opulent to stop me in my way,
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neither general General: Though the Scene is at Epidaurus, he no doubt alludes to the ten Strategi of Athens, who, after the remodelling of the constitution by Cleisthenes, discharged the duties which had been formerly performed either by the King or the Archon Polemarchus. They were elected by the suffrages of the people, and exercised the supreme power in peace and war. See an able article on this subject in Dr. Smith’s Dictionary of Antiquities., nor any tyrant Tyrant: By the use of the word tyrannus he perhaps refers to the Basileus Archon, or King Archon. of Athens, who was the representative of the ancient kings, in their capacity of high priest. It was his duty to preside at the Lenaea, or older Dionysia, to superintend mysteries and certain games, and to offer prayers and sacrifices in the Eleusinium, both at Athens and Eleusis. The word may, however, be only intended as a general name, like our term potentate., nor market-officer Market-officer: Agoranomus, the market-officer of the Greeks, has been referred to in a Note to the Miles Gloriosus., nor demarch Denmarch: The Demarchi were the chief officers of the demi, townships or hundreds, in Attica. It was their duty to convene the demus, and take the votes; to register the landed estates, to collect the public rents, and to furnish to the authorities a list of the members of the townships who were fit to serve in war. nor comarch Comarch: The Comarchi were the prefects, or head officers of each village or framlet in Attica., with their honors so great, but that down he goes, and tumbles head first from the footpath into the carriage-road. And then those Grecians with their cloaks, who walk about with covered heads, who go loaded beneath their cloaks with books, and with baskets With baskets: In the sportule, or baskets, the poor, and the parasitical dependants on the rich, carried away the scraps that were given to them after an entertainment was concluded.,
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they loiter together, and engage in gossipping among themselves, the gad-abouts The gad-abouts: Drapetae. From the Greek δρέμω, to run. He probably alludes to the propensities of the Athenians for gossipping and running about from place to place. Probably, at the time of Plautus, they had begun in considerable numbers to resort to Rome. By his reference to the books, he is, perhaps, more particularly alluding to their Philosophers. The Romans considered it effeminate in civil life to go with the head covered.; you may always see them enjoying themselves in the hot liquor-shops Hot liquor-shops— The thermopolia have been alluded to in a Note to the Trinummus, l. 1013.; when they have scraped up some trifle, with their covered pates they are drinking mulled wine, sad and maudlin they depart: if I stumble upon them here,
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from every single one of them I’ll squeeze out a belch from their pearled-barley diet Their pearled-barley diet: This passage is necessarily somewhat modified in the translation. The Philosophers, especially the Stoics, who prided themselves on their abstinence, lived principally upon pearled barley.. And then those servants of your dainty townsmen Of your dainty townsmen: He alludes to those opulent townsmen who, to make a show, are keeping more servants than they want; in consequence whereof, these servants have nothing to do but play at ball in the streets, much to the annoyance of the passers-by., who are playing at catch-ball in the road, both throwers and catchers, all of them I’ll pitch under foot. Would they avoid a mishap, why then, let them keep at home.
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PHAEDROMUS
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He points out aright, he only requires that he should speak with authority; for such manners are in vogue in the present day,
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such at present are the slaves; really, control cannot be held over them.
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CURCULIO
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Is there any one, I wonder, who can point out to me Phaedromus, my good Genius? The matter is of such pressing nature, I really must meet with the man this instant.
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PALINURUS
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He’s looking for you.
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PHAEDROMUS
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What if we accost him? (Aloud.) Hallo! Curculio, I want you.
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CURCULIO
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Who’s calling me? Who’s mentioning my name?
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PHAEDROMUS
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One who wishes to meet with you.
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CURCULIO
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You don’t wish more for me than I wish for you.
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PHAEDROMUS
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O my own ready occasion, Curculio, much longed-for, greetings to you.
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CURCULIO
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Greetings to you.
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PHAEDROMUS
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I’m glad that you have arrived safe; give me your right hand. How stand my hopes? Troth now, prithee, do speak out.
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CURCULIO
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To you, troth now, prithee, do speak out, how stand my own. (Makes curious gestures.)
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PHAEDROMUS
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What’s the matter with you?
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CURCULIO
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A dimness is beginning to come, my knees are failing through fasting.
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PHAEDROMUS
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I’ faith, through lassitude, I think.
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CURCULIO
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Support me, prithee, do support me.
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PHAEDROMUS
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See how pale he has turned; will you give him a seat, for him to be seated at once, and an ewer with some water? Will you make haste, this very instant?
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CURCULIO
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I’m faint.
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PHAEDROMUS
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Would you like some water?
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CURCULIO
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If it’s full of bits Full of bits: He will like the water very well, if it is in the shape of a rich soup, with plenty of meat in it. of meat, prithee, give it me to swallow down, i’ faith.
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PHAEDROMUS
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Woe be to that head of yours.
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CURCULIO
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Troth now, prithee do give me cause to rejoice at my arrivalAt my arrival: Ventum. This word gives occasion to a pun here, as, according to the context, it may either meal that I am arrived, or wind. The Parasite says, Give me reason (by providing some victuals) to rejoice that I have arrived. Phaedromus chooses to understand him as saving, Give me some wind, that I may rejoice, and says By all means, and begins to fan him. The other asks what he is doing, or making; to which he replies, Making some air..
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PHAEDROMUS
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By all means.
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CURCULIO
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Prithee, what’s this you’re about.
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PHAEDROMUS
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Some air.
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CURCULIO
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Really, for my part, I don’t want a breath to be raised.
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PHAEDROMUS
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What then?
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CURCULIO
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To eat, that I may rejoice on my arrival.
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PHAEDROMUS
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May Jupiter and the Deities confound you.
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CURCULIO
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I’m quite undone; I can hardly see;
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my mouth is bitter; my teeth, I find, are blunted Are blunted: It is hard to say what plenos means when applied to the teeth—if indeed, that word is the correct reading here.; my jaws are clammy through fasting; with my entrails thus lank with abstinence from food am I come.
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PHAEDROMUS
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You shall eat something just now.
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CURCULIO
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I’ faith, I don’t want something; I’d rather have what’s fixed for certain, than your something.
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PHAEDROMUS
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Aye, but if you only knew what has been put by for you.
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CURCULIO
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I’d very much like to know where it is; for really it’s necessary for it and my teeth to make acquaintance.
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PHAEDROMUS
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A gammon of bacon, a sow’s stomach, some udder and kernels of the throat.
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CURCULIO
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What, all this do you say? Perhaps you mean that they are in the flesh-market?
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PHAEDROMUS
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In the dishes, I mean; they’ve been got ready for you, since we knew that you were about to arrive.
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CURCULIO
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Take care you don’t be fooling me.
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PHAEDROMUS
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So may the fair one love me whom I love, I don’t say what’s false. But as to what I sent you upon I’m none the wiser yet.
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CURCULIO
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I’ve brought back nothing.
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PHAEDROMUS
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You’ve undone me.
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CURCULIO
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I can find something, if you’ll give me your attention. After, at your request, I had set out, I arrived in Caria;
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I saw your friend; I asked him to make me a loan of some money. In answer, you were to know that he was willing to oblige you; he didn’t wish to disappoint you, as it is only proper that a person who is a friend should be ready, and should assist his friend. In a few words he answered me, and quite in confidence, that he also was in the same extreme want of money as yourself.
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PHAEDROMUS
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By your words you ensure my undoing.
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CURCULIO
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Why no; I’m saving you, and wish you to be saved. After this answer was given me, I went away from him to the Forum, in sorrow that I had applied to him in vain. By accident I espied a military officer; this person I accosted, and as I approached I saluted him. Save you, said he to me, took my right hand, drew me aside, and asked me why I had come to Caria.
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I said that I had come there for the sake of amusement. Upon this he asked me whether I knew a certain Lyco, a banker of Epidaurus. I said I knew him. Well, and the Procurer Cappadox? I answered yes, that I had seen him. But what do you want of him? said I. Because, said he, I bought of him a girl for thirty minae, her clothes and golden jewels too; and for these last ten minae more are added.
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Have you paid the money? said I. No, said he; it is lodged with this Lyco the banker, whom I was mentioning, and I’ve instructed him that the person who should bring a letter sealed with my own ring, to him he was to give his services, that he might receive the damsel, with her jewels of gold and her clothes, from the Procurer. After he told me this, I was going away from him. At once he called me back,
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invited me to dinner; it was a point of conscience, I was unwilling to refuse him. What if we go off home, and take our places at table? said he. The suggestion pleased me; it is neither proper to lengthen out the day, nor to curtail the night. Everything was prepared, and we, for whom it was prepared, were at our places. After we had dined and well drunk, he asked for the dice to be fetched him.
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He challenged me to play with him a game of hazard. I staked my cloak, he staked his ring against it; he called on the name Called on the name: On the custom of invoking their mistresses, when playing at dice, see a Note to the Captivi, Act I., Sc. 1. We are, perhaps, to suppose that the Captain takes off his ring for the purpose of staking it, which would enable Curculio to steal it the more easily. of Planesium.
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PHAEDROMUS
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What, my mistress?
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CURCULIO
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Be silent a while. He threw a most losing cast Most losing cast: When playing with the tali, or knucklebone dice, with only four marked sides, they used sets of four. Volturii quatuor (literally, the four vultures) was the most unlucky throw of all, and is supposed to have been four aces.. I took up the dice, and invoked Hercules as my genial patron My genial patron: Nutricem; literally, nurse. It has been suggested that the Parasite intended to compliment his entertainer, the Captain, under the name of Hercules, whom he invokes for luck. The Delphin Commentator says that Parasites invoked Hercules because the tenths of entertainments were offered to him, and these were distributed among the needy, in the number of whom they ranked.; I threw a first-rate cast A first-rate cast: The best throw with the tali was called Venus or Venereus jactus, when the dice turned up 2, 3, 4, and 5. As it war by this throw that the Romans chose the King of the Feast, it received the name of Basilicus, the king’s throw. See the last Scene in the Asinaria., and pledged him in a bumping cup; in return he drank it off,
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reclined his head, and fell fast asleep. I slily took away from him the ring, and took my legs quietly from off the couch, so that the Captain mightn’t perceive it. The servants enquired whither I was going; I said that I was going whither persons when full are wont to go. When I beheld the door, at once on the instant I betook myself away from the place.
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PHAEDROMUS
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I commend you.
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CURCULIO
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Commend me when I’ve brought this thing about which you desire. Now let’s go indoors, that we may seal the letter.