Truculentus
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Original / primary: Perseus Eng2
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My father, in the first place, I’m quite resolved to ruin, root and branch; then next in turn, my mother. Now to-day I’ll carry this money to her whom I love more than my own mother. (Goes towards the door of PHRONESIUM, and knocks.) Hillo there—is any one here? There’s not a woman. Is any one going to open this door?
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ASTAPHIUM
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Why so a stranger, pray, my dear Strabax?
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Why don’t you come in at once?
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Ought you to have been doing so,
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you, indeed, who are so intimate?
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STRABAX
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I’ll go in then, that you mayn’t think I’m loitering.
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ASTAPHIUM
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You act obligingly.
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STRATILAX
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It seems marvellous to me, that Strabax, my master’s son,
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hasn’t returned from the country, unless perchance he has slily slipt in here into this den of corruption of his.
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ASTAPHIUM
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Now, faith, he’ll be roaring at me if he espies me.
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STRATILAX
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I’m much less savage now, Astaphium, than I was before; I’m not churlish now; don’t thee fear. (She runs to a distance.) What wouldst thee be at? What?
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ASTAPHIUM
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What, say you? Why, I’m waiting for your churlishness.
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STRATILAX
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Say, command me what thee dost please, and in what way thee dost please. I’ve got all my manners anew: my old ones I’ve parted with. I can e’en fall in love, or take a mistress now.
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ASTAPHIUM
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Upon my faith, you do tell me fine news. But tell me,
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have you— ?
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STRATILAX
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A mistressA mistress: Parasitum. This word, if the correct reading, cannot mean anything else than a mistress here, in which sense Lambinus asserts that it was sometimes used. If that is not the case, we must be content to agree with Schmieder, that the passage is corrupt., perhaps, thee means.
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ASTAPHIUM
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You’ve understood nicely what I meant to say.
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STRATILAX
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Hark you, since I’ve been so many times backwards and forwards to the city, I’ve become quite a chatterer; I’m now a right good stalkerRight good stalker: He means to say cavillator, a chatterer; but instead thereof, mispronouncing the word, he calls it caullator, which was perhapspa word of no meaning; it has been translated stalker, from its resemblance to caulis, a stalk..
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ASTAPHIUM
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Prithee, what’s that? That’s nonsense;
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perhaps you intend to mean talking.
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STRATILAX
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Just so; it differs mighty little from stalking.
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ASTAPHIUM
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Prithee, do follow me in-doors, my love.
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STRATILAX
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Take this for thyself; keep it as a ledgerAs a ledger: In his bungling, he calls arrhabo, a pledge or earnest, rhabo, which had no meaning. Of course this cannot be literally translated, but something tantamount is given in the Translation, in order to convey the spirit, by making him miscall pledge ledger. for thee, that thee mayst give me thy company this night.
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ASTAPHIUM
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You are the death of me, with your ledger. What kind of beast am I to say that is?
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Thy don’t you say pledge?
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STRATILAX
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The r I make a saving of; just as the PraenestinesThe Praenestines: In the Trinummus, l. 609, he jokes at the expense of the people of Praeneste, for using the expression tammodo. Here he says that they were in the habit of calling ciconia, a stork, conia. They are also alluded to, apparently as braggarts, in the Fragment at the beginning of the Bacchides. have conia, for ciconia.
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ASTAPHIUM
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Prithee, do follow me.
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STRATILAX
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I’ll wait here a little for Strabax, till he comes from the farm.
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ASTAPHIUM
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Why, Strabax is at our house. He has just come from the farm.
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STRATILAX
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What, before he went to his own mother?
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Alas, the man’s worth nought, i’ faith.
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ASTAPHIUM
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What now, your old habit?
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STRATILAX
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Well, I’ll say nought.
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ASTAPHIUM
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Prithee, do come indoors. Give me your hand.
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STRATILAX
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Well, take it. (To the AUDIENCE.) I’m being led off into a public-house, where I shall be but poorly entertained for my money.
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DINARCHUS
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There’s not a person born, nor will there be born, nor can there be found one,
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to whom I would now wish praises to be given, or on whom attentions bestowed, rather than on Venus. Ye great Gods, how joyous I am, and how I’m transported with joyousness! Such great tidings of joy has Cyamus brought to me this day; that my presents have been esteemed and deemed acceptable by Phronesium. While this now is a delight, then besides this in especial is rare honey-drink to me,
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that the Captain’s presents are held as disagreable and not acceptable. I’m all enraptured! The ball’s my ownthe ball’s my own: Mea pila est. A figure derived from the game of bandy-ball, which appears to have been played by striking the ball with the fists, as we do with the feet. See the Rudens, l. 721, and the Note. W have a similar proverbial saying: He has the ball at his foot.; if the Captain’s sent adrift, the woman will be mine. I’m saved, because I’m going to ruin; if I didn’t go to ruin, it’s clear I should die. Now I’ll keep watch, what’s going on there, who goes into the house, who comes out of doors; from here at a distance will I observe what is to be my lot.
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Because I’ve got nothing, my feelings remind me of one thing; I’ll do everything by begging.
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ASTAPHIUM
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I’ll cleverly do my duty, mistress; do you only take care that in-doors you do yours as well; love that which you ought, your own interest; clean that fellow thoroughly out. Now, while it pleases the fellow, while he has got something, adapt the opportunity to that purpose. Display all your charms to your lover that you may heighten his joys.
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I meantime will stay here behind and watch at this door so long as he is thus transporting his presents home to you; nor, in the meantime, will I admit any one from there to you who may cause you annoyance. Do you go on, just as you please. Are you not diddling these fellows?
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DINARCHUS
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How now, Astaphium, tell me, who is this fellow that’s on the road to ruin?
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ASTAPHIUM
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Prithee, were you here?
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DINARCHUS
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What—am I troublesome?
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ASTAPHIUM
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More now than you were; for unless a person is of use to us, he is troublesome to us. But, prithee, do lend me your attention, that I may say what I want.
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DINARCHUS
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Why, what is it? Does it concern myself?
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ASTAPHIUM
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Not a rap. But what hauls he is making present of in-doors.
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DINARCHUS
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How? Some new lover?
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ASTAPHIUM
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A fresh one, and a brimming treasure she has hit upon.
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DINARCHUS
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Who is he?
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ASTAPHIUM
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I’ll tell you, but you be mum. Don’t you know this Strabax?
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DINARCHUS
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Why shouldn’t I?
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ASTAPHIUM
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He alone rules the roast here at our house. He just now is a landed estate to us. With right good spirit is he wantonly wasting away his property.
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DINARCHUS
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He’s on the road to ruin; i’ faith, I, too, have come to ruin.
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ASTAPHIUM
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You are a simpleton, to expect with words to make undone what is done.
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DINARCHUS
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Even Thetis, too, in weeping, made lamentation for her son.
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Can I not now be admitted in-doors to your house?
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ASTAPHIUM
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Why so rather than the Captain?
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DINARCHUS
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Why, because I’ve given more.
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ASTAPHIUM
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But you were admitted more, when you were giving more; let those who give, in return for that which they give, enjoy our services.
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You’ve learnt your letters; since you know them yourself, let others learn them.
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DINARCHUS
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Let them learn, so long as it is allowed me to con my lesson, that I may not forget what I have paid for.
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ASTAPHIUM
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In the meantime, while you, who are a master, shall be conning your lesson, she, as well, is desirous to con hers.
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DINARCHUS
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How so?
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ASTAPHIUM
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In receiving money ever and anon.
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DINARCHUS
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For my own part, this very day I gave five minae of silver to be carried to her,
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besides one for provisions.
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ASTAPHIUM
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I know that the same was brought; with it we are now enjoying ourselves upon your liberality.
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DINARCHUS
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For these enemies of mine here to be devouring my property! By heavens, I’d rather that I were dead than submit to that!
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ASTAPHIUM
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You are a simpleton.
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DINARCHUS
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How’s that?Part of line 746 in the Latin. There is some corruption.
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ASTAPHIUM
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Wait.Part of line 746 in the Latin. There is some corruption.
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DINARCHUS
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Why so?
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ASTAPHIUM
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Because, I’ troth, I’d rather
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that my enemies should envy me, than I my enemies; for to envy because it goes well with another, and goes badly with yourself, is wretchedness.
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Those who are envious, are in want; they who are envied, possess property.
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DINARCHUS
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May I not be a partaker of the provisions bought with the mina?
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ASTAPHIUM
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If you wanted to be a partaker, you should have taken half home. For here an account of the receipts is entered just as at Acheron;
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we take in-doors; when it’s got by us, it can’t be carried out of doors. (Turning on her heel.) Kindly farewell.
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DINARCHUS
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Do stay.
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ASTAPHIUM
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Let me go! Leave off!
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DINARCHUS
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Do let me go in.
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ASTAPHIUM
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Yes, to your own house,
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DINARCHUS
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Aye, but here into your house.
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ASTAPHIUM
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You cannot go.
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DINARCHUS
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I can, very well. Do let me try.
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ASTAPHIUM
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No, wait here; it’s sheer violence to try.
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I’d say that you are here, if she wasn’t engaged.
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DINARCHUS
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Ha! Do stop!Part of line 754 in the Latin.
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ASTAPHIUM
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It’s of no use.Part of line 754 in the Latin.
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DINARCHUS
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Are you going to return or not?
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ASTAPHIUM
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I’d return, but a voice is calling me that has more influence with me than you have.
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DINARCHUS
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In one word
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I’ll say it.
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You’ll receive me?
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ASTAPHIUM
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You are telling a lie—be off. One word, you said; but now three words have you uttered, and those untrue.
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DINARCHUS
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She’s off, and she’s gone hence in-doors That I should endure these things to be done to me. By heavens, enticer, with my cries I’ll be exposing you to ridicule in the street,
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you who, contrary to law, have received money from many a one. Upon my faith, I’ll forthwith cause your name to be before every magistrateBefore every magistrate: He probably alludes to the Praetor and the Triumviri; which last magistrates had especial jurisdiction over the conduct of courtesans., and after that I’ll sue you for fourfoldSue you for fourfold: He will sue her for a fourfold return, which, in cases of fraud and extortion, a person was sometimes condemned to make., you sorceress, you kidnapper of children. By the powers, I’ll now disclose all your disgraceful deeds. Worthless creature that I am, who have lost everything I had! I’m become desperate,
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and now I haven’t the slightest bit of concern what shoes I wearWhat shoes I wear: The Romans were very particular as to their dress in the street, and they were especially careful not to wear the shoes which they used in-doors, nor such as were too big, or fitted loosely to the feet. Ovid says, in the Art of Love, B, 1. l. 516, let not your foot wallop about, losing itself in the shoe, down at heel, enjoining the men to be careful on this point. The expression is used figuratively here, signifying that he will throw off all regard for appearances.. But why am I trying here? What, suppose she were to order me to be let in? I could swear in solemn form that I wouldn’t do it if she wished. It’s nonsense. If you thump a goad with your fists, your hands are hurt the most. It’s no good to be angry at a thing of nothing; a creature that doesn’t value you a straw.
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(Starting.) But what’s this? O immortal Gods, I see old Callicles, him who was my connexion by marriageWas my connexion by marriage: He probably calls him adfinis, or connexion, from the fact of himself having been formerly betrothed to his daughter., bringing two female slaves in bonds, the one the hair-dresser of this Phronesium, the other his own servant-maid. I’m greatly alarmed! inasmuch as one care has so recently taken possession of my heart, I’m afraid lest all my former misdeeds should be discovered.