Adelphi
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Original / primary: Perseus Eng2
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DROMO
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Halloo, Syrus! Ctesipho desires you’ll come back.
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SYRUS
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Get you gone.
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DEMEA
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What is it he says about Ctesipho?
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SYRUS
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Nothing.
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DEMEA
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How now, you hang-dog, is Ctesipho in the house?
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SYRUS
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He is not.
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DEMEA
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Then why does he mention him?
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SYRUS
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It’s another person; a little diminutive Parasite. Don’t you know him?
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DEMEA
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I will know him before long.
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SYRUS
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What are you about? Whither are you going?
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DEMEA
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Let me alone.
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SYRUS
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Don’t, I tell you.
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DEMEA
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Won’t you keep your hands off, whip-scoundrel? Or would you like me to knock your brains out this instant?
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SYRUS
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He’s gone! no very pleasant boon-companion, upon my faith,
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particularly to Ctesipho. What am I to do now ? Why, even get into some corner till this tempest is lulled, and sleep off this drop of wine. That’s my plan.
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MICIO
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Every thing’s ready with us, as I told you, Sostrata, when you like.—Who, I wonder, is making my door fly open with such fury?
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DEMEA
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Alas! what shall I do? How behave? In what terms exclaim, or how make my complaint? O heavens! O earth! O seas of Neptune!
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MICIO
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Here’s for you! he has discovered all about the affair; and of course is now raving about it; a quarrel is the consequence; I must assist him,I must assist him: Colman remarks on this passage: The character of Micio appears extremely amiable through the first four Acts of this Comedy, and his behavior is in many respects worthy of imitation; but his conduct in conniving at the irregularities of Ctesipho, and even assisting him to support them, is certainly reprehensible. Perhaps the Poet threw this shade over his virtues on purpose to show that mildness and good-humor might be carried to excess. however.
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DEMEA
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See, here comes the common corrupter of my children.
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MICIO
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Pray moderate your passion, and recover yourself.
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DEMEA
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I have moderated it; I am myself; I forbear all reproaches; let us come to the point: was this agreed upon between us,—proposed by yourself, in fact,—that you were not to concern yourself about my son, nor I about yours? Answer me.
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MICIO
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It is the fact,—I don’t deny it.
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DEMEA
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Why is he now carousing at your house? Why are you harboring my son ? Why do you purchase a mistress for him, Micio? Is it at all fair, that I should have any less justice from you, than you from me? Since I do not concern myself about your son, don’t you concern yourself about mine.
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MICIO
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You don’t reason fairly.
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DEMEA
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No?Part of line 804 in the Latin.
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MICIO
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For surely it is a maxim of old,
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that among themselves all things are common to friends.Part of line 804 in the Latin.
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DEMEA
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Smartly said; you’ve got that speech up for the occasion.
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MICIO
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Listen to a few words, unless it is disagreeable, Demea. In the first place, if the extravagance your sons are guilty of distresses you, pray do reason with yourself.
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You formerly brought up the two suitably to your circumstances, thinking that your own property would have to suffice for them both; and, of course, you then thought that I should marry. Adhere to that same old rule of yours,—save, scrape together, and be thrifty for them; take care to leave them as much as possible,
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and take that credit to yourself: my fortune, which has come to them beyond their expectation, allow them to enjoy; of your capital there will be no diminution; what comes from this quarter, set it all down as so much gain. If you think proper impartially to consider these matters in your mind, Demea,
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you will save me and yourself, and them, considerable uneasiness.
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DEMEA
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I don’t speak about the expense; their morals—
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MICIO
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Hold; I understand you; that point I was coming to.That point I was coming to: Colman observes here: Madame Dacier makes an observation on this speech, something like that of Donatus on one of Micio’s above; and says that Micio, being hard put to it by the real circumstances of the case, thinks to confound Demea by a nonsensical gallimatia. I can not be of the ingenious lady’s opinion on this matter, for I think a more sensible speech could not be made, nor a better plea offered in favor of the young men, than that of Micio in the present instance. There are in men, Demea, many signs from which a conjecture is easily formed; so that when two persons do the same thing, you may often say,
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this one may be allowed to do it with impunity, the other may not; not that the thing itself is different, but that he is who does it. I see signs in them, so as to feel confident that they will turn out as we wish. I see that they have good sense and understanding, that they have modesty upon occasion, and are affectionate to each other; you may infer
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that their bent and disposition is of a pliant nature; at any time you like you may reclaim them. But still, you may be apprehensive that they will be somewhat too apt to neglect their interests. O my dear Demea, in all other things we grow wiser with age; this sole vice does old age bring upon men:
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we are all more solicitous about our own interests than we need be; and in this respect age will make them sharp enough.
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DEMEA
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Only take care, Micio, that these fine reasonings of yours, and this easy disposition of yours, do not ruin us in the end.
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MICIO
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Say no more; there’s no danger of that. Now think no further of these matters. Put yourself to-day into my hands;
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smooth your brow.
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DEMEA
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Why, as the occasion requires it, I must do so; but to-morrow I shall be off with my son into the country at day-break.
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MICIO
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Aye, to-night, for my share; only keep yourself in good-humor for the day.
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DEMEA
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I’ll carry off that Music-girl along with me as well.
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MICIO
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You will gain your point;
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by that means you will keep your son fast there; only take care to secure her.
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DEMEA
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I’ll see to that; and what with cooking and grinding, I’ll take care she shall be well covered with ashes, smoke, and meal; besides all this, at the very mid-dayAt the very mid-day: Exposed to the heat of a mid-day sun. I’ll set her gathering stubble;
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I’ll make her as burned and as black as a coal.
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MICIO
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You quite delight me; now you seem to me to be wise; and for my part I would then compel my son to go to bed with her, even though he should be unwilling.
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DEMEA
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Do you banter me? Happy man, to have such a temper! I feel—
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MICIO
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Ah ! at it again!
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DEMEA
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I’ll have done then at once.
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MICIO
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Go in-doors then, and let’s devote this day to the objectTo the object: The marriage and its festivities. to which it belongs.
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DEMEA
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Never was there any person of ever such well-trained habits of life, but that experience, age, and custom are always bringing him something new, or suggesting something; so much so, that what you believe you know you don’t know, and what you have fancied of first importance to you, on making trial you reject;
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and this is my case at present: for the rigid life I have hitherto led, my race nearly run, I now renounce. Why so?—I have found, by experience, that there is nothing better for a man than an easy temper and complacency. That this is the truth, it is easy for any one to understand on comparing me with my brother. He has always spent his life in ease and gayety;
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mild, gentle, offensive to no one, having a smile for all, he has lived for himself, and has spent his money for himself; all men speak well of him, all love him. I, again, a rustic, a rigid, cross, self-denying, morose and thrifty person, married a wife; what misery I entailed in consequence! Sons were born—a fresh care. And just look, while I have been studying to do as much as possible for them,
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I have worn out my life and years in saving; now, in the decline of my days, the return I get from them for my pains is their dislike. He, on the other hand, with out any trouble on his part, enjoys a father’s comforts; they love him; me they shun; him they trust with all their secrets, are fond of him, are always with him. I am forsaken;
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they wish him to live; but my death, forsooth, they are longing for. Thus, after bringing them up with all possible pains, at a trifling cost he has made them his own; thus I bear all the misery, he enjoys the pleasure. Well, then, henceforward let us try, on the other hand, whether I can’t speak kindly and act complaisantly, as he challenges me to it:
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I also want myself to be loved and highly valued by my friends. If that is to be effected by giving and indulging, I will not be behind him. If our means fail, that least concerns me, as I am the eldest.Am the eldest: And therefore likely to be the first to die, and to avoid seeing such a time come.
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SYRUS
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Hark you, Demea, your brother begs you will not go out of the way.
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DEMEA
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Who is it?—O Syrus, my friend, O Syrus, my friend: The emptiness of his poor attempts to be familiar are very evident in this line. save you! how are you? How goes it with you?
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SYRUS
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Very well.
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DEMEA
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Very good. (Aside.) I have now for the first time used these three expressions contrary to my nature,—O Syrus, my friend, how are you?—how goes it with you? (To SYRUS.) You show yourself far from an unworthy servant, and I shall gladly do you a service.
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SYRUS
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I thank you.
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DEMEA
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Yes, Syrus, it is the truth; and you shall be convinced of it by experience before long.
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GETA
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Mistress, I am going to see after them, that they may send for the damsel as soon as possible; but see, here’s Demea. (Accosting him.) Save you!
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DEMEA
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O, what’s your name?
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GETA
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Geta.
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DEMEA
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Geta, I have this day come to the conclusion that you are a man of very great worth, for I look upon him as an undoubtedly good servant
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who has a care for his master; as I have found to be your case, Geta; and for that reason, if any opportunity should offer, I would gladly do you a service. (Aside.) I am practicing the affable, and it succeeds very well.
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GETA
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You are kind, sir, to think so.
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DEMEA
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Getting on by degrees—I’ll first make the lower classes my own.
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AESCHINUS
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They really are killing me while too intent on performing the nuptials with all ceremony; the whole day is being wasted in their preparations.
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DEMEA
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Aeschinus! how goes it?
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AESCHINUS
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Ha, my father! are you here ?
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DEMEA
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Your father, indeed, both by affection and by nature; as I love you more than my very eyes; but why don’t you
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send for your wife?
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AESCHINUS
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So I wish to do; but I am waiting for the music-girl The music-girl: Tibicinae, or music-girls, attended at marriage ceremonials. See the Aulularia of Plautus, where Megadorus hires the music-girls on his intended marriage with the daughter of Euclio. and people to sing the nuptial song.
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DEMEA
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Come now, are you willing to listen to an old fellow like me?
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AESCHINUS
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What is it?
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DEMEA
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Let those things alone, the nuptial song, the crowds, the torches,The crowds, the torches: See the Casina of Plautus, Act IV., Scenes 3 and 4, for some account of the marriage ceremonial. The torches, music-girls, processions, and hymeneal song, generally accompanied a wedding, but from the present passage we may conclude that they were not considered absolutely necessary. and the music-girls, and order the stone wall in the gardenStone wall in the garden: The maceria, or garden-wall of loose stones, is also mentioned in the Truculentus of Plautus, 1. 301. here to be pulled down
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with all dispatch, and bring her over that way; make but one house of the two; bring the mother and all the domestics over to our house.
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AESCHINUS
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With all my heart, kindest father.
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DEMEA
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Well done! now I am called kind. My brother’s house will become a thoroughfare; he will be bringing home a multitude, incurring expense in many ways: what matters it to me?
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I, as the kind Demea, shall get into favor. Now then, bid that BabylonianBid that Babylonian: This passage has much puzzled the Commentators; but it seems most probable that it is said aside, and that in consequence of his profuseness he calls his brother a Babylonian, (just as we call a wealthy man a nabob,) and says, Well, let him, with all my heart, be paying twenty mine (between £70 and £80) for a music-girl. pay down his twenty minae. (To SYRUS.) Syrus, do you delay to go and do it ?
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SYRUS
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What am I to do?
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DEMEA
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Pull down the wall: and you, Geta, go and bring them across.
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GETA
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May the Gods bless you, Demea, as I see you so sincere a well-wisher to our family.
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DEMEA
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I think they deserve it. What say you, Aeschinus, as to this plan ?
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AESCHINUS
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I quite agree to it.
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DEMEA
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It is much more proper than that she, being sick and lying-in, should be brought hither through the street.
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AESCHINUS
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Why, my dear father, I never did see any thing better contrived.
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DEMEA
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It’s my way; but see, here’s Micio coming out.
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MICIO
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Does my brother order it? Where is he? (To DEMEA.) Is this your order, Demea?
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DEMEA
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Certainly, I do order it, and in this matter, and in every thing else, wish especially to make this family one with ourselves, to oblige, serve, and unite them.
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AESCHINUS
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Father, pray let it be so.
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MICIO
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I do not oppose it.
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DEMEA
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On the contrary, i’ faith, it is what we ought to do:
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in the first place, she is the mother of his wife (pointing to AESCHINUS).
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MICIO
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She is. What then?
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DEMEA
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An honest and respectable woman.